[Part I: Arose] ~#**************#~ [Verse] ~#**************#~ If I could rewind time like a tape ~#**************#~ Inside a boombox, one day for every pill or Percocet that I ate ~#**************#~ Cut down on the Valium, Ida heard everything ~#**************#~ But death is turning so definite—wait! ~#**************#~ They got me all hooked up to some machine ~#**************#~ I love you, Bean, didnt want you to know I was struggling ~#**************#~ Feels like Im underwater submerged like a submarine ~#**************#~ Just heard that nurse say, my liver and kidneys arent functioning ~#**************#~ Been flirtatious with death, skirt-chasing, I guess ~#**************#~ Its arrivederci, same nurse, just heard say theyre unplugging me ~#**************#~ And its your birthday, Jade, Im missing your birthday ~#**************#~ Baby girl, Im sorry, I fucking hate when you hurt, Hai ~#**************#~ And sweeties, thank you for waiting to open gifts ~#**************#~ But, girls, you can just open em ~#**************#~ Dad aint making it home for Christmas ~#**************#~ Wish I had the strength to just blow a kiss ~#**************#~ I go to make a fist, but I cant make one, Im frozen stiff ~#**************#~ I yell, but nothing comes out, Im crying inside, I shout ~#**************#~ My vocal cords wont permit me, I scream, but its not aloud ~#**************#~ You put your arm around Momma to calm her, wow ~#**************#~ I just thought about the aisle Ill never get to walk us down ~#**************#~ Never see you graduate in your caps and gowns ~#**************#~ Its bout to be 2008, hows this happening now? ~#**************#~ Ive got so much more to do ~#**************#~ And, Proof, Im truly sorry if I let you down, but this tore me in two ~#**************#~ The thought of no more me and you ~#**************#~ You gave me shoes, Nikes like new for me for school ~#**************#~ Doody, Im trying, but you, you were the glue that binded ~#**************#~ So many things—time, Id give anything to rewind it ~#**************#~ I had to walk down my halls and constantly be reminded ~#**************#~ By pictures all on my walls and I couldnt sleep at night cause ~#**************#~ That image burned in my brain of you on that table ~#**************#~ Me falling across your body, not able to stand to save you ~#**************#~ God, why did you take him? ~#**************#~ Im tryna keep his legacy alive, but Im dying, wheres Nathan? ~#**************#~ Little ladies, be brave, take care of your mother ~#**************#~ Smile pretty for pictures, always cherish each other ~#**************#~ Ill always love ya, and Ill be in the back of your memory ~#**************#~ And I know youll never forget me ~#**************#~ Just dont get sad when remembering ~#**************#~ And, little bro, keep making me proud ~#**************#~ You better marry that girl cause shes faithfully down ~#**************#~ And when youre exchanging those sacred vows ~#**************#~ Just know that if I could be there, I would ~#**************#~ And should you ever see parenthood, I know youll be good at it ~#**************#~ Oh, almost forgot to do something, thank my father too ~#**************#~ I actually learned a lot from you ~#**************#~ You taught me what not to do ~#**************#~ And, Mom, wish Id have had the chance ~#**************#~ To have one last heart-to-heart honest and open talk with you ~#**************#~ Doody, I see you, I go to walk to you ~#**************#~ And I can feel my soul leave my body and float across the room ~#**************#~ Nurses lean over the bed, pulling tubes out ~#**************#~ Then the sheet over my head, shut the room down ~#**************#~ Girls, please dont get upset ~#**************#~ I see them cheeks soaking and wet ~#**************#~ As you squeeze hold of my neck, so forcibly, dont wanna let ~#**************#~ Me go, pillow drenched, emotional wrecks ~#**************#~ With every second, each closer to death ~#**************#~ But suddenly I feel my heart begin to beat slow ~#**************#~ Then a breath, machines go (*beep beep beep*) ~#**************#~ Mustve guessed the cheat codes to this shit ~#**************#~ Im tryna rewind time like a tape ~#**************#~ Find an escape, make a beeline, try and awake ~#**************#~ From this dream, I need to re-find my inner strength ~#**************#~ To remind me, even if a steep climb I must take ~#**************#~ To rewrite a mistake, Im rewinding the tape ~#**************#~ [Part II: Castle Extended] ~#**************#~ [Verse] ~#**************#~ (I dont want it!) ~#**************#~ Ill put out this last album, then Im done with it ~#**************#~ One hundred percent finished, fed up with it ~#**************#~ Im hanging it up, fuck it! ~#**************#~ Excuse the cursing, baby, but just know ~#**************#~ That Im a good person, though they portray me as cold ~#**************#~ And if things should worsen, but I bet you they wont ~#**************#~ Im pledging to throw this methadone in the toilet ~#**************#~ Shred these old letters I wrote ~#**************#~ All that old pathetic loathing, closing credits can roll ~#**************#~ Im proud to be back ~#**************#~ Im bout to, like a rematch, outdo Relapse ~#**************#~ With Recovery, Mathers LP2 ~#**************#~ Help propel me to victory laps ~#**************#~ Gas toward em and fast forward the past ~#**************#~ Consider them last four minutes as ~#**************#~ The song Ida sang to my daughters ~#**************#~ If Ida made it to the hospital less than two hours later, but I fought it ~#**************#~ And came back like a boomerang on em ~#**************#~ Now a new day is dawnin ~#**************#~ Im up, Tuesday, its mornin—now I know (Haha) ~#**************#~ (*Toilet flush*)