[Intro]
~#**************#~
Oh, its music to my ears, oh, man
~#**************#~
How can I describe the way I feel?
~#**************#~
Fucking great, man
~#**************#~
Okay, let me see
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How could I begin?
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[Verse 1]
~#**************#~
Locked in Mariahs wine cellar, all I had for lunch
~#**************#~
Was bread, wine, more bread, wine and Capn Crunch
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Red wine for breakfast and for brunch
~#**************#~
And to soak it up, an in-between snack, crackers to munch
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Mariah, whats ever happened to us?
~#**************#~
Why did we have to break up? All I asked for was a glass of punch
~#**************#~
You see, I never really asked for much, I cant imagine whats
~#**************#~
Going through your mind after such
~#**************#~
A nasty break-up with that Latin hunk
~#**************#~
Luis Miguel, Nick Cannon, better back the fuck
~#**************#~
Up, Im not playin, I want her back, you punk
~#**************#~
This is Hello Kitty bedspread, Satin Funk
~#**************#~
Mixed with Egyptian, with a little rap and punk
~#**************#~
Zapp and Eric Clapton, Shaft, Frank Zappa, crunk
~#**************#~
And, yeah, baby, I want another crack at ya
~#**************#~
You can beat me with any spatula that you want
~#**************#~
I mean, I really want you bad, you cunt
~#**************#~
Nick, you had your fun, Ive come to kick you in your sack of junk
~#**************#~
Man, I could use a fresh batch of blood
~#**************#~
So prepare your vernacular for Dracula acupuncture
~#**************#~
[Chorus]
~#**************#~
Bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
When will it ever cease? For Petes sakes, hes crazy to say the least
~#**************#~
Bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
Whats going through my mind half the time when I rhyme or blowing up like
~#**************#~
Bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
Somebody turn the vacancy sign on, cause Im gone, blowing on my
~#**************#~
Bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
I run the streets and act like a madman holding a Glad—
~#**************#~
[Verse 2]
~#**************#~
You can be a permanent fixture in my lyrical mixture
~#**************#~
Im the Miracle Whip trickster
~#**************#~
My signature sound, when a tube of lipsticks around
~#**************#~
Im bound to put it on in an instant, wow
~#**************#~
Man, what an ensemble!
~#**************#~
What an assortment of pharma–ceuticals
~#**************#~
This beautiful pill dust in my palm, my
~#**************#~
Cuticles get residue just from touchin the bottle
~#**************#~
Never knew I could remind me so much of my momma
~#**************#~
Ill cut ya like Dahmer, pull a butcher knife on ya
~#**************#~
The size of a sword, boy, Im like the fuckin Red Sonja
~#**************#~
Get it stuck in your cornea, nice knowing ya, Norman
~#**************#~
Youre so fuckin annoyin, drop the shovel, boy
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You dont know what the fuck youre doin
~#**************#~
I aint playin no fuckin more
~#**************#~
Nick Cannon, you prick, I wish you luck with the fuckin whore
~#**************#~
Every minute theres a sucker born, snuck up on Malachi
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Made the motherfucker suck on a shuck of corn
~#**************#~
Shuck o, shuck o corn, Chaka Khan
~#**************#~
Hit Jason in the face with a hockey puck, and
~#**************#~
Told him its fuckin on, man, what the fuck are ya doin?
~#**************#~
Youre runnin over the snowblower with the lawnmower
~#**************#~
Blowin your bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
[Chorus]
~#**************#~
Bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
When will it ever cease? For Petes sakes, hes crazy to say the least
~#**************#~
Bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
Whats going through my mind half the time when I rhyme or blowing up like
~#**************#~
Bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
Somebody turn the vacancy sign on cause Im gone, blowing on my
~#**************#~
Bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
I run the streets and act like a madman holding a Glad bag
~#**************#~
[Verse 3]
~#**************#~
In the bed with two brain-dead lesbian vegetables
~#**************#~
I bet you they become heterosexual
~#**************#~
Nothing will stop me from molestin you
~#**************#~
Titty-fuckin you til your breast nipple flesh tickles my testicles
~#**************#~
Is what I said to the two conjoined twins
~#**************#~
Hows it going, girlfriends? You needs a boyfriend?
~#**************#~
You need some ointment? Just set up an appointment
~#**************#~
Whos gonna see the doctor first? Well do a coin flip
~#**************#~
I just got my one-year sobriety coin chip
~#**************#~
When the bad get going, how bad does the going get?
~#**************#~
Baby, you shouldnt have any trouble rubbing groins with
~#**************#~
Each other, especially when youre joined at the hip
~#**************#~
Im going to get the needle and thread from the sewing kit
~#**************#~
And attempt to separate em and stitch em back at the loin, shit
~#**************#~
Lure the little boy with the chocolate ‘Chips Ahoy! chip
~#**************#~
Cookie, lookie, even took me a Polaroid pic
~#**************#~
[Chorus]
~#**************#~
Bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
When will it ever cease? For Petes sakes, hes crazy to say the least
~#**************#~
Bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
Whats going through my mind half the time when I rhyme or blowing up like
~#**************#~
Bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
Somebody turn the vacancy sign on cause Im gone, blowing on my
~#**************#~
Bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
I run the streets and act like a madman holding a Glad bag
~#**************#~
Oh, bagpipes from Baghdad
~#**************#~
[Outro]
~#**************#~
Hghum-day-li-laaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aa-aah-aah
~#**************#~
Hghum-day-li-laaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aa-aah-aah
~#**************#~
Hghum-day-li-laaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aa-aah-aah
~#**************#~
Hghum-day-li-laaa-aaa-aaa-aaa-aa-aah-aah
