[Produced by Dr. Dre] ~#**************#~ [Verse 1] ~#**************#~ I was born with a dick in my brain — yeah, fucked in the head ~#**************#~ My stepfather said that I sucked in the bed ~#**************#~ ‘Til one night, he snuck in and said ~#**************#~ “Were going out back, I want my dick sucked in the shed” ~#**************#~ Cant we just play with Teddy Ruxpin instead? ~#**************#~ “After I fuck you in the butt, get some head, bust a nut, get some rest” ~#**************#~ The next day, my mother said “I dont know what the fucks up with this kid! ~#**************#~ The bastard wont even eat nothing, hes fed ~#**************#~ He just hung himself in the bedroom, hes dead!” ~#**************#~ “Debbie, dont let that fucker get you upset ~#**************#~ Go in there, stick a fuckin cigarette to his neck ~#**************#~ Ill bet you hes fakin it, Ill bet you ~#**************#~ I bet he probably just wants to see how upset you would get ~#**************#~ Ill go handle this, of course, unless you object?” ~#**************#~ “Aw, go fuck his brains out if anys left in his head!” ~#**************#~ [Chorus] ~#**************#~ If you could count the skeletons in my closet ~#**************#~ Under my bed and up under my faucet ~#**************#~ Then you would know Ive completely lost it ~#**************#~ Is he nuts? No! Hes insane! ~#**************#~ If you could count the skeletons in my closet ~#**************#~ Under my bed and up under my faucet ~#**************#~ Then you would know Ive completely lost it ~#**************#~ Is he nuts? No! Hes insane! ~#**************#~ [Verse 2] ~#**************#~ “Did you get him?” — “Nah, fucker tried to bite my face off ~#**************#~ I just got fuckin chased off with a chainsaw ~#**************#~ Then he took the chainsaw, bit the fuckin blades off ~#**************#~ Ate the blades, stuck a baseball in a slingshot ~#**************#~ Then he aimed at his own face, let the thing pop ~#**************#~ Took his eye out, picked it up and played ping pong ~#**************#~ Then he played ping pong with his own ding-dong ~#**************#~ That motherfuckers got nuts like King Kong ~#**************#~ Then he set the lawnmower out on the dang lawn ~#**************#~ And he laid all up underneath it with the thing on ~#**************#~ Then he took his pants, he took every fuckin thing off ~#**************#~ Everything ‘cept his tank top and his training bra ~#**************#~ Aint he raw?” Yeah, maniac, thats Shady, dawg ~#**************#~ Man, that motherfuckers gangsta, aint he dawg? ~#**************#~ Shady, dawg, what be goin through that fuckin brain of yours? ~#**************#~ Say no more, what the fuck you waitin for? Sing along! ~#**************#~ [Chorus] ~#**************#~ If you could count the skeletons in my closet ~#**************#~ Under my bed and up under my faucet ~#**************#~ Then you would know Ive completely lost it ~#**************#~ Is he nuts? No! Hes insane! ~#**************#~ If you could count the skeletons in my closet ~#**************#~ Under my bed and up under my faucet ~#**************#~ Then you would know Ive completely lost it ~#**************#~ Is he nuts? No! Hes insane! ~#**************#~ [Verse 3] ~#**************#~ Dont you know what felch means? (Yeah) Well, then tell me ~#**************#~ Would you rather get felched, or do the felching? ~#**************#~ Fuck em in the ass, suck the cum out while youre belching (Urrp!) ~#**************#~ Burp, belch and go back for a second helping ~#**************#~ Can you dig what Im saying, man? Can you smell me? ~#**************#~ I want you to feel me like my stepfather felt me (Oh…) ~#**************#~ Fuck a little puppy, kick the puppy while hes yelping ~#**************#~ “Shady, what the fuck you saying?” — I dont know, help me! ~#**************#~ What the fucks happening? I think Im fuckin melting ~#**************#~ “Marshall, I just love you, boy, I care about your well-being” ~#**************#~ No, dad, I said no! I dont need no help peeing ~#**************#~ Im a big boy, I can do it by myself, see? ~#**************#~ I only get naked when the babysitter tells me ~#**************#~ She showed me a movie like Nightmare on Elm Street ~#**************#~ But it was X and they called it “Pubic Hair on Chelsea” ~#**************#~ “Well, this is called ‘Ass Rape, and were shooting the jail scene” ~#**************#~ [Chorus] ~#**************#~ If you could count the skeletons in my closet ~#**************#~ Under my bed and up under my faucet ~#**************#~ Then you would know Ive completely lost it ~#**************#~ Is he nuts? No! Hes insane ~#**************#~ If you could count the skeletons in my closet ~#**************#~ Under my bed and up under my faucet ~#**************#~ Then you would know Ive completely lost it ~#**************#~ Is he nuts? No! Hes insane!