[Produced by Rick Rubin]
~#**************#~
[Intro]
~#**************#~
If youre havin girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
~#**************#~
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch aint one
~#**************#~
[Verse 1]
~#**************#~
Ive got the Rap Patrol on the gat patrol
~#**************#~
Foes that wanna make sure my caskets closed
~#**************#~
Rap critics that say hes Money, Cash, Hoes
~#**************#~
Im from the hood, stupid! What type of facts are those?
~#**************#~
If you grew up with holes in your zapatos
~#**************#~
Youd celebrate the minute you was havin dough
~#**************#~
Im like, “Fuck critics, you can kiss my whole asshole!
~#**************#~
If you dont like my lyrics, you can press fast forward”
~#**************#~
Got beef with radio if I dont play they show
~#**************#~
They dont play my hits, well, I dont give a shit, so
~#**************#~
Rap mags try and use my black ass
~#**************#~
So advertisers can give em more cash for ads
~#**************#~
Fuckers, I dont know what you take me as
~#**************#~
Or understand the intelligence that Jay Z has
~#**************#~
Im from rags to riches, niggas, I aint dumb
~#**************#~
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch aint one – hit me!
~#**************#~
[Chorus]
~#**************#~
Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch aint one
~#**************#~
If youre havin girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
~#**************#~
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch aint one – hit me!
~#**************#~
[Verse 2]
~#**************#~
The year is 94, in my trunk is raw
~#**************#~
In my rearview mirror is the motherfuckin law
~#**************#~
Got two choices, yall: pull over the car or
~#**************#~
Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor
~#**************#~
And I aint tryin to see no highway chase with Jake
~#**************#~
Plus I got a few dollars, I can fight the case
~#**************#~
So I pull over to the side of the road
~#**************#~
I heard, “Son, do you know why Im stopping you for?”
~#**************#~
“‘Cause Im young and Im black and my hats real low?
~#**************#~
Do I look like a mind reader, sir? I dont know
~#**************#~
Am I under arrest or should I guess some more?”
~#**************#~
“Well, you was doing fifty-five in a fifty-four
~#**************#~
License and registration and step out of the car
~#**************#~
Are you carrying a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are”
~#**************#~
I aint steppin out of shit, all my papers legit
~#**************#~
“Well, do you mind if I look around the car a little bit?”
~#**************#~
Well, my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk in the back
~#**************#~
And I know my rights, so you gon need a warrant for that
~#**************#~
“Arent you sharp as a tack?
~#**************#~
You some type of lawyer or something?
~#**************#~
Somebody important or something?”
~#**************#~
Well, I aint passed the bar, but I know a little bit
~#**************#~
Enough that you wont illegally search my shit
~#**************#~
“Well, well see how smart you are when the K9 come!”
~#**************#~
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch aint one – hit me!
~#**************#~
[Chorus]
~#**************#~
Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch aint one
~#**************#~
If youre havin girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
~#**************#~
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch aint one – hit me!
~#**************#~
Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch aint one
~#**************#~
If youre havin girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
~#**************#~
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch aint one
~#**************#~
[Verse 3]
~#**************#~
Now once upon a time not too long ago
~#**************#~
A nigga like myself had to strong-arm a ho
~#**************#~
This is not a ho in the sense of havin a pussy
~#**************#~
But a pussy havin no goddamn sense, try and push me
~#**************#~
I try to ignore him, talk to the Lord
~#**************#~
Pray for him, but some fools just love to perform
~#**************#~
You know the type, loud as a motorbike
~#**************#~
But wouldnt bust a grape in a fruit fight
~#**************#~
And only thing thats gon happen is Ima get to clappin
~#**************#~
And he and his boys gonna be yappin to the Captain
~#**************#~
And there I go, trapped in the Kit-Kat again
~#**************#~
Back through the system with the riff-raff again
~#**************#~
Fiends on the floor, scratchin again
~#**************#~
Paparazzis with they cameras, snappin em
~#**************#~
D.A. try to give a nigga shaft again
~#**************#~
Half a mil for bail cause Im African
~#**************#~
All because this fool was harassin them
~#**************#~
Tryin to play the boy like hes saccharine
~#**************#~
But aint nothin sweet bout how I hold my gun
~#**************#~
I got ninety-nine problems, bein a bitch aint one – hit me!
~#**************#~
[Chorus]
~#**************#~
Ninety-nine problems, but a bitch aint one
~#**************#~
If youre havin girl problems, I feel bad for you, son
~#**************#~
I got ninety-nine problems, but a bitch aint one – hit me!
~#**************#~
[Outro]
~#**************#~
You crazy for this one, Rick
~#**************#~
Its your boy
