[Produced by Just Blaze]
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[Intro: Gloria Carter]
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Shawn Carter was born December 4th, weighing in at 10 pounds, 8 ounces. He was the last of my four children. The only one who didnt give me any pain when I gave birth to him. And thats how I knew that he was a special child.
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[Verse 1: JAY-Z]
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They say “They never really miss you til you dead or you gone.”
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So on that note, Im leavin after this song
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So you aint gotta feel no way about Jay, so long
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But at least let me tell you why Im this way, hold on
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I was conceived by Gloria Carter and Adnis Reeves
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Who made love under the sycamore tree
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Which makes me a more sicker MC, and my momma would claim
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At 10 pounds, when I was born, I didnt give her no pain
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Although through the years I gave her her fair share
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I gave her her first real scare, I made up for birth when I got here
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She knows my purpose wasnt purpose; I aint perfect, I care
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But I feel worthless cause my shirts wasnt matchin my gear
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Now Im just scratchin the surface cause whats buried under there
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Was a kid torn apart once his pop disappeared
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I went to school, got good grades, could behave when I wanted
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But I had demons deep inside that would raise when confronted
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Hold on
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[Interlude: Gloria Carter]
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Shawn was a very shy child growing up. He was into sports, and a funny story is at 4 he taught himself how to ride a bike. A two-wheeler at that, isnt that special? But I noticed a change in him when me and my husband broke up.
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[Verse 2: JAY-Z]
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Now, all the teachers couldnt reach me
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And my momma couldnt beat me
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Hard enough to match the pain of my pop not seein me
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So, with that disdain in my membrane
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Got on my pimp game; fuck the world, my defense came
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Then DeHaven introduced me to the game
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Spanish Jose introduced me to ‘caine, Im a hustler now
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My gear is in and Im in the in-crowd
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And all the wavy light-skinned girls is lovin me now
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My self-esteem went through the roof, man, I got my swag
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Got a Volvo from this girl when her man got bagged
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Plus I hit my momma with cash from a show that I had
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Supposedly, knowin nobody paid Jaz wack-ass
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Im gettin ahead of myself; by the way, I could rap
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But that came second to me movin this crack
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“Gimme a second, I swear,” I would say about my rap career
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‘Til 96 came, niggas, Im here; goodbye!
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[Interlude: Gloria Carter]
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Shawn used to be in the kitchen, beating on the table and rapping until the wee hours of the morning. And then I bought him a boom box, and his sisters and brothers said he would drive them nuts. But that was my way to keep him close to me and out of trouble.
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[Verse 3: JAY-Z]
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Goodbye to the game, all the spoils, the adrenaline rush
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Your blood boils you in the spot, knowin cops could rush
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And you in a drop, youre so easy to touch
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No two days are alike except the first and fifteenth, pretty much
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And “trust” is a word you seldom hear from us
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Hustlers, we dont sleep, we rest one eye up
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And the drought will define a man when the well dries up
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You learn the worth of water without work
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You thirst til you die, yup!
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And niggas get tied up for product
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And little brothers ring fingers get cut up
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To show mothers they really got em
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And this was the stress I lived with
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‘Til I decided to try this rap shit for a livin, I pray Im forgiven
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For every bad decision I made, every sister I played
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‘Cause Im still paranoid to this day
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And its nobody fault, I made the decisions I made
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This is the life I chose, or rather, the life that chose me
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[Outro: JAY-Z]
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If you cant respect that, your whole perspective is wack
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Maybe youll love me when I fade to black
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If you cant respect that, your whole perspective is wack
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Maybe youll love me when I fade to black
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Now if you cant respect that, your whole perspective is wack
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Maybe youll love me when I fade to black
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If you cant respect that, your whole perspective is wack
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Maybe youll love me when I fade…
