[Intro]
~#**************#~
Okay, Im going to attempt to drown myself
~#**************#~
You can try this at home
~#**************#~
You can be just like me
~#**************#~
Mic check, one-two, we recordin?
~#**************#~
[Verse 1]
~#**************#~
Im cancerous, so when I diss, you wouldnt wanna answer this
~#**************#~
If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus
~#**************#~
Ill strangle you to death, then Ill choke you again
~#**************#~
And break your fuckin legs til your bones poke through your skin
~#**************#~
You beef with me, Ima even the score equally
~#**************#~
Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally
~#**************#~
I get too blunted off of funny home grown
~#**************#~
‘Cause when I smoke out, I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono
~#**************#~
(Oh no) So if I said I never did drugs
~#**************#~
That would mean I lie and get fucked more than the President does
~#**************#~
Hilary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert
~#**************#~
I ripped her fuckin tonsils out and fed her sherbet (Bitch)
~#**************#~
My nerves hurt, and lately Im on edge
~#**************#~
Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out (Cmere) his blond dreads (Fuck you)
~#**************#~
Every girl I ever went out with has gone les
~#**************#~
Follow me and do exactly what the song says
~#**************#~
Smoke weed, take pills, drop out of school, kill people
~#**************#~
And drink, jump behind the wheel like it was still legal
~#**************#~
Im dumb enough to walk in a store and steal
~#**************#~
So Im dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill
~#**************#~
Some people only see that Im white, ignorin skill
~#**************#~
‘Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill
~#**************#~
But I dont get pissed, yall dont even see through the mist
~#**************#~
How the fuck can I be white? I dont even exist
~#**************#~
I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave
~#**************#~
Die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave
~#**************#~
My middle finger wont go down, how do I wave?
~#**************#~
And this is how Im supposed to teach kids how to behave?
~#**************#~
[Chorus]
~#**************#~
Now, follow me and do exactly what you see
~#**************#~
Dont you wanna grow up to be just like me?
~#**************#~
I slap women and eat shrooms, then OD
~#**************#~
Now, dont you want to grow up to be just like me?
~#**************#~
[Verse 2]
~#**************#~
Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole
~#**************#~
When we heard a knock at the door, mustve been Ron Gold
~#**************#~
Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold
~#**************#~
Killed them both, then smeared blood on the white Bronco
~#**************#~
(We did it) My mind wont work if my spine dont jerk
~#**************#~
I slapped Garth Brooks out of his rhinestone shirt
~#**************#~
Im not a player, just a ill rhyme sayer
~#**************#~
Thatll spray a aerosol can up at the ozone layer
~#**************#~
My rap styles warped, Im runnin out the morgue
~#**************#~
With your dead grandmothers corpse to throw it on your porch
~#**************#~
Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon with a cape on
~#**************#~
And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn
~#**************#~
Im bout as normal as Norman Bates with deformative traits
~#**************#~
A premature birth that was four minutes late
~#**************#~
Mother, are you there? I love you
~#**************#~
I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel (That shovel)
~#**************#~
Will someone please explain to my brain
~#**************#~
That I just severed the main vein with a chainsaw and Im in pain?
~#**************#~
I take a breather and sigh, either Im high or Im nuts
~#**************#~
‘Cause if you aint tiltin this room, neither am I
~#**************#~
So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass
~#**************#~
Then it probably is obvious I got it on with her
~#**************#~
‘Cause when I drop this solo shit, its over with
~#**************#~
I bought Cages tape, opened it, and dubbed over it
~#**************#~
[Chorus]
~#**************#~
I came to the club drunk with a fake ID
~#**************#~
Dont you wanna grow up to be just like me?
~#**************#~
Ive been with ten women who got HIV
~#**************#~
Now, dont you wanna grow up to be just like me?
~#**************#~
I got genital warts and it burns when I pee
~#**************#~
Dont you wanna grow up to be just like me?
~#**************#~
I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree
~#**************#~
You probably wanna grow up to be just like me
