[Intro]
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May I have your attention, please?
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May I have your attention, please?
~#**************#~
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
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I repeat
~#**************#~
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
~#**************#~
Were gonna have a problem here
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[Verse 1]
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Yall act like you never seen a white person before
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Jaws all on the floor like Pam, like Tommy just burst in the door
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And started whoopin her ass worse than before
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They first were divorced, throwin her over furniture (Agh)
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Its the return of the “Oh, wait, no way, youre kidding
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He didnt just say what I think he did, did he?”
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And Dr. Dre said
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Nothing, you idiots, Dr. Dres dead, hes locked in my basement (Ha-ha)
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Feminist women love Eminem
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“Chicka-chicka-chicka, Slim Shady, Im sick of him
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Look at him, walkin around, grabbin his you-know-what
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Flippin the you-know-who”, “Yeah, but hes so cute though”
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Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose
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But no worse than whats goin on in your parents bedrooms
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Sometimes I wanna get on TV and just let loose
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But cant, but its cool for Tom Green to hump a dead moose
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“My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips”
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And if Im lucky, you might just give it a little kiss
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And thats the message that we deliver to little kids
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And expect them not to know what a womans clitoris is
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Of course, theyre gonna know what intercourse is
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By the time they hit fourth grade theyve got the Discovery Channel, dont they?
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We aint nothin but mammals
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Well, some of us cannibals who cut other people open like cantaloupes
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But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes
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Then theres no reason that a man and another man cant elope
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But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote
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Women, wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus, and it goes
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[Chorus]
~#**************#~
Im Slim Shady, yes, Im the real Shady
~#**************#~
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
~#**************#~
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
~#**************#~
Please stand up, please stand up?
~#**************#~
‘Cause Im Slim Shady, yes, Im the real Shady
~#**************#~
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
~#**************#~
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
~#**************#~
Please stand up, please stand up?
~#**************#~
[Verse 2]
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Will Smith dont gotta cuss in his raps to sell records (Nope)
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Well, I do, so fuck him, and fuck you too
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You think I give a damn about a Grammy?
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Half of you critics cant even stomach me, let alone stand me
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“But Slim, what if you win? Wouldnt it be weird?”
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Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
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So you can sit me here next to Britney Spears?
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Yo, shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
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So I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
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And hear em argue over who she gave head to first
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Little bitch put me on blast on MTV
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“Yeah, hes cute, but I think hes married to Kim, hee-hee”
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I should download her audio on MP3
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And show the whole world how you gave Eminem VD (Agh)
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Im sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
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So I have been sent here to destroy you
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And theres a million of us just like me
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Who cuss like me, who just dont give a fuck like me
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Who dress like me, walk, talk and act like me
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And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me
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[Chorus]
~#**************#~
‘Cause Im Slim Shady, yes, Im the real Shady
~#**************#~
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
~#**************#~
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
~#**************#~
Please stand up, please stand up?
~#**************#~
‘Cause Im Slim Shady, yes, Im the real Shady
~#**************#~
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
~#**************#~
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
~#**************#~
Please stand up, please stand up?
~#**************#~
[Verse 3]
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Im like a head trip to listen to
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‘Cause Im only givin you things you joke about with your friends inside your livin room
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The only difference is I got the balls to say it in front of yall
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And I dont gotta be false or sugarcoat it at all
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I just get on the mic and spit it
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And whether you like to admit it (Err), I just shit it
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Better than ninety percent of you rappers out can
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Then you wonder, “How can kids eat up these albums like Valiums?”
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Its funny, cause at the rate Im goin, when Im thirty
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Ill be the only person in the nursin home flirting
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Pinchin nurses asses when Im jacking off with Jergens
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And Im jerking, but this whole bag of Viagra isnt working
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And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
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He could be working at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings (Ch, puh)
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Or in the parkin lot, circling, screaming, “I dont give a fuck!”
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With his windows down and his system up
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So will the real Shady please stand up
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And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
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And be proud to be out of your mind and out of control
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And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?
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[Chorus]
~#**************#~
Im Slim Shady, yes, Im the real Shady
~#**************#~
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
~#**************#~
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
~#**************#~
Please stand up, please stand up?
~#**************#~
‘Cause Im Slim Shady, yes, Im the real Shady
~#**************#~
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
~#**************#~
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
~#**************#~
Please stand up, please stand up?
~#**************#~
‘Cause Im Slim Shady, yes, Im the real Shady
~#**************#~
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
~#**************#~
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
~#**************#~
Please stand up, please stand up?
~#**************#~
‘Cause Im Slim Shady, yes, Im the real Shady
~#**************#~
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
~#**************#~
So wont the real Slim Shady please stand up
~#**************#~
Please stand up, please stand up?
~#**************#~
[Outro]
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Ha-ha
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I guess theres a Slim Shady in all of us
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Fuck it, lets all stand up
